Why is rejection good

Doing so is emotionally unhealthy and psychologically self-destructive yet every single one of us has done it at one time or another. The good news is there are better and healthier ways to respond to rejection, things we can do to curb the unhealthy responses, soothe our emotional pain and rebuild our self-esteem.

Here are just some of them:. By all means, review what happened and consider what you should do differently in the future but there is absolutely no good reason to be punitive and self-critical while doing so. The best way to boost feelings of self-worth after a rejection is to affirm aspects of yourself you know are valuable. Make a list of five qualities you have that are important or meaningful — things that make you a good relationship prospect e. Applying emotional first aid in this way will boost your self-esteem, reduce your emotional pain and build your confidence going forward.

As social animals, we need to feel wanted and valued by the various social groups with which we are affiliated. Rejection destabilizes our need to belong , leaving us feeling unsettled and socially untethered. If your kid gets rejected by a friend, make a plan for them to meet a different friend instead and as soon as possible. Rejection is never easy but knowing how to limit the psychological damage it inflicts, and how to rebuild your self-esteem when it happens, will help you recover sooner and move on with confidence when it is time for your next date or social event.

Or just a little? Cry if you want to — it's a natural way to release emotion. Now, move on to name what you're feeling. For example: "I feel really disappointed that I didn't get chosen for the school play. I wanted it so badly, and I tried so hard. I feel left out because my friends made it and I didn't. If you want, tell someone else what happened and how you feel about it.

Pick someone who will listen and be supportive. Whether you decide to share your feelings with someone else or simply think about them yourself, acknowledging feelings can help you move beyond painful emotions. When you're dealing with a painful emotion like rejection, it's easy to get caught up in the bad feeling. But dwelling on the negative stuff can feel like living the experience over and over again. Not only does it keep hurting, it becomes harder to get past the rejection.

So admit how you feel but don't dwell on it. Avoid talking or thinking about it nonstop. Negative thinking influences our expectations and how we act. Getting stuck in a negative outlook might even bring about more rejection. It certainly doesn't inspire a person to try again.

Now on to what you think: Consider how you're explaining the rejection to yourself. What we perceive to be rejection is often not even actual rejection at all — just not the right timing. You learn a lesson and re-evaluate.

Sometimes rejection helps us evaluate. I was fired from my first job as an administrator. I hate numbers, I am not detail-oriented and I was lousy in a support role.

The rejection made me realize what I am not suited to and made me assess what I am good at. My subsequent careers have been rewarding, fulfilling and awesome. I needed the wakeup call to get out of for me what was a completely unfitting job. It makes you empathetic to others. Experiencing suffering makes us kinder to others. Next time we need to let someone down, having experienced being let down ourselves, we are much more likely to be gentle.

So what? You are still alive. The old saying that what does not kill us makes us stronger can be true particularly when pertaining to rejection.

It makes me feel strong and more resilient in the face of more rejection and in life, more rejection is always guaranteed. The reason that rejection feels so personal is because it stands against our expectations.

But what we often fail to realize is that there is a world out there with a multitude of possibilities. Rejection could very well be the best thing that ever happened to you. My name is Melyssa Griffin. Around these parts, I share my best business secrets, as well as help you cultivate a life of true freedom, purpose, and fun. Listening to these podcast episodes are the highlight of my day.

So so thankful for it! Self Improvement. Search for:. Rejection teaches you…about rejection I know this sounds completely obvious, but go with me on this one. Rejection often sends you somewhere better The reason that rejection feels so personal is because it stands against our expectations. How has rejection positively affected your life? Keep Reading. Arrow Alone.